Finally the work is finished and I am able to return to my 'normal' life, back to studying and scraping together money !
I think life plays cruel jokes on me sometimes, the one day in the week that I needed to be well for and my chest has been on fire all day. I had to over-dose on my medication and ended up so doped out, that I was not able to concentrate enough to take my bike test.....Back to the waiting room for me.
I felt useless, crippled by something that I hate, with no power over it. I cannot even predict when I will be ill or what will cause it, even if I could...I cannot stop it.
I have a bike test, hopefully I will get through it without incident. I have mostly spent my spare time playing guitar and keeping myself occupied with movies or books, maybe a more significant update will come tomorrow.
Jay
and weeks seem to merge until months pass by without notice. I have been busy, very busy actually, my days are packed with work and my evenings are usually filled with social activities, I am not complaining however, I enjoy it. After next week I will have sorted out a lot of things, from there I will be able to arrange my education a little better, I still have a long way to go with Japanese. I want to travel to Japan on a work visa and see how I handle it, better to test the water than jump right in, maybe I will be able to afford it next year, or perhaps 2010, I set the goal of getting there before I am 25, that gives me a little under 3 years. I have done a lot of financial planning this last month and I got a lot of debt paid off, I owe a very small percentage of what I did five weeks past, things are going very well.
Still you cannot have light without casting shadows, my uncle and my grandmother both have cancer and my great aunt is unlikely to last till the summer. Being so far from Jannah pains me and I find myself saddened many days of the month, I have also become alienated from my friends and find I spend less and less time with them.
Maybe I just need to get my life in order before I concern myself with trivial social matters or perhaps the social matters are more important than the others.
Jay
Lately I have been pre-occupied with clearing my great aunt's garden, me and my uncle are doing it as a favour. I do not mind a physical exertion, the exercise is welcome and the company is amusing. I have been looking at bikes for a while now, gotta get my test done and sort one out, but that will not take long. I have just about sorted my finacial situation out, now is the time to work out my future....to a degree, it is often best not to plan out too far ahead, things change easily.
I have a bunch of pictures that I keep meaning to upload, my laptop is being a nuisance, so I have not gotten round to it yet. Maybe I will try again soon, or just fix my computer,I spend too much time fixing and maintaining other people's computers and not enough time on my own. I am going to visit Jannah next weekend, should be a lot of fun, I am looking forward to it!
I was trying to post something with meaning, but my brain will not allow it right now. I have not kept up on my blog lately, I have been busy every weekend for the past two months and I just tend to occupy myself in the weekdays with other things. I want to make a big update with mention of anything I have done that warrants writing about, but I do not know when I will get around to it, I also need to catch up on reading a few peoples things too. It seems daunting, but I am sure I will be sitting around on a dull Sunday at some point, short on money and long on time.
I want to read Jessica's blog too, I like the pictures you post =).
Well I have to get ready, my ride will be here soon,
bye.
Well, the result was hardly shocking, I realised he was going to win, months ago, even far before Clinton had dropped out. Ol' soldier boy Mac was hardly a strong candidate and I think just about everybody hates Sarah Palin(Spelling?) the choice was always pretty obvious. I am glad he won, I think he was a solid choice and will be good for a country that has lost all of it's international respect, not to mention dignity. I am curios to see what changes he makes over the next few years, congratulations President Obama.
Shugo out.
Today feels wrong, something is not as it was or should be. I have had this feeling a few times, it usually leads to dark revelations coming to light, I hope my instinct is wrong, I hate doubting it, but I want to be optimistic. My stomach is churning and my thoughts spiral, torrents of gray cloud my thought and confuse my sense of safety,
rarely am I insecure or rattled...I guess that is why I am affected this badly.
Where is my clarity.
-Shugo Tenshi-
Things are not going in a straight line for me, I had my perfect plan, then it fell apart and now I am trying to figure out a way to get the things I need. Transport is definitely a must, I need a bike and I do not think the Cagiva Mito is in my price range anymore, I must shop around for an alternative. Education I am still fine with, I just need to do some work next week and then I should be fine to carry on my Japanese and hopefully start my Journalism course, though I may delay the latter until I am ontop of my Japanese work, once that is all in order I will look for a new Kung-Fu class and get my Gym subscription renewed; fitness! I also need to ride my horse a lot more, I have not gone out riding for a fair few weeks, it is a little unfair on Sakura (Though she is ridden by a friend of mine at the moment)
I put all that down in a very brief manner and none of it is as accesible as I may have made out, but I am sure it will be accomplishable if I just try hard enough, my future needs to at least have a foothold, I cannot get by on by wisdom alone, I need on-paper qualifications.
I think about things far too much and some times it makes me sad.
